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Existence looks really hard.
If I had to pinpoint an exact moment when it all went wrong, I’d say Creation.
Congratulations India on completing the largest election in human history.
Obviously you're not My territory, but I hear good things from Brahma.
It's easy to blame others for your mistakes, so do that.
There is no past.
There is no future.
There is only this moment.
And now it’s gone.
Nice. Nice job.
I don't create complex marine ecosystems in your landfills, so please don't dump shit in My oceans.
The people who think life begins at conception also think it began 6,000 years ago.
People would rather destroy the planet than admit they’re wrong.
I love you unconditionally under certain circumstances.
Grumpy Cat is up with Me in heaven for eternity and he's still so fucking grumpy.
If I were truly pro-life, nothing would die.
Nah. If you know My track record I’m actually more pro-death. https://t.co/jevGX9irz3
One abortion 2,000 years ago and this whole problem is solved.
Life begins the moment you leave Alabama.
You are worthless.
Retweet if you occasionally agree!
Saving the planet will require sacrifice and right now I'm thinking you.
If you think #GameofThrones
is ending poorly, wait till you see how you finish off.
By resigning. https://t.co/q6yWrKGRug
"God is good" only in the same way that Bob is boob.
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